The Underground Comedy Movie (1999)

THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR A FILM YOU PROBABLY DON'T WANT TO SEE ANYWAY. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Oh boy, where to begin? The Underground Comedy Movie, released in 1999, is written and directed by, and stars, Vince Offer. Who is Vince Offer, you may ask? Well, you would know him better as Vince from ShamWow! And Slap Chop. And he recently came back during the pandemic with ShamWow! masks. Anyway, that's right, the ShamWow! guy directed a film before he became known as a pitchman... thankfully. He should be so thankful for being known as a pitchman rather as being a director, writer and actor for The Underground Comedy Movie.

Enough explaining who Vince Offer is, you all know him. The Underground Comedy Movie, being based on The Underground Comedy Show, a cable access program Offer did in the 1980s, had an extremely limited theatrical run, only playing in one theater for a short period of time, reportedly for only a day. Offer raised money for home video distribution of the film in the years following by selling vegetable choppers at swap meets. The film has reportedly sold over 100,000 copies since... 100,000 copies too many.

In case I'm being too subtle, I HATED this movie. The film was met with extremely negative reviews and this review is about to get added to the pile. The film has a similar format to The Kentucky Fried Movie (1977), where the film appears to be on television with channels changing and numerous vignettes are disguised as commercials or television programs. The big difference is, while the comedy has run its course, The Kentucky Fried Movie is funny.

Let's get into the content. The film opens, first with an obnoxiously read title card of the definition of "satire", and continues, and ends, with Gena Lee Nolin doing the Marilyn Monroe sewer pose while Vince Offer films up her blowing skirt. The credits roll and then we dive into the first skit, which we see several times in the film, titled "Supermodels Taking a Dump"... I'm not kidding. The skit is part of several ones with the title "Things You Never See" or something like that. That's the joke? Yep. That's the entire joke. Sure, most people don't see Supermodels taking a dump, but... how is that funny? The one thing about the film I do like is the static in between some of the skits, simulating a channel change. That's fine. One of the only cool parts of the film.

Another skit we get is one of many skits featuring Mr. Offer, a superhero who is dressed like a baseball player and uses a bat against his enemies. His name? "Bat Man" Mike, if you're reading this, forgive me for telling you your puns are bad. Something I did not mention is that there are several celebrity cameos in this film. How Vince got these actors in the film I will never know. The next skit is "Boobwatch", a parody of Baywatch but without humor. Karen Black is in it for a short period. Waste of good talent. Then we have a skit titled "Virgin Hunter" where everything and nothing happens at once. I have zero clue what is going on in the skit. It plays again later on in the film using different takes. Yay.

We go into our next skit which is another "Things You Never See", this one is called "Gay Virgin". It has Michael Clarke Duncan (RIP) in it, likely having shot this film before The Green Mile (1999) as this film took years to make. In it, another man (Ant) is trying to seduce the gay virgin (Duncan) while he is playing pool but the virgin turns down his advances because he is not only not attracted to him but is also saving himself for the right man. That's the skit. What is the joke here???? The skit plays later on in the film two more times, again with different takes. In the third run, the two actors burst out laughing at the end, indicating it was an outtake.

Something that should be mentioned is that numerous critical reviews on the DVD case mention how offensive and raunchy it is. I think Mr. Offer tried way too hard to be offensive and put no effort into actually being funny. This effort is most obvious in another skit, titled "The Godmother", a spoof of The Godfather (1972), but, again, without the humor. It has a man in drag as "The Godmother" and one of the enforcers is played by none other than Joey Buttafuoco... seriously Vince?! If you know what I'm talking about, yes, THAT Joey Buttafuoco. If you don't know, stop reading this article and look up "Long Island Lolita" I'll wait... Done? Yeah, that's him. Vince cast a known statutory rapist for the sake of being offensive. Then it gets interrupted by some strange shit as well as a rerun of the Gay Virgin skit.

Some other skits include "The Adventures of Dickman" which is... exactly what the title suggests. There's "Watts Up Talk Show" where Vince Offer plays a talk show host that is going to interview a KKK member but instead of interviewing him he murders him. Okay? He murdered a klansman. Good for him? I don't disagree with the fact that all members of the Klan should die but... what's the humor in it? Also, if all of these skits are supposed to be offensive, who is this supposed to be offensive to? Klan members? That's the only type of person that would be offended by this skit. Another skit, titled "Miss America Bag Lady Pageant", is hosted by Slash. Yes, Guns n' Roses Slash. In it, he is either shitfaced or stoned...maybe both? Makes sense.

The last skit I will talk about is one of the worst ones; "Porno Review". Two guys (Vince Offer, again, and Sam Mactaggert) review porn films with some other guy who rates it by the amount of... man goo he... you get the picture. One of the pornos involves two guys having sex with dead female bodies. That isn't funny, that's repulsive! There are other skits I didn't talk about, I just talked about the worst ones. The film is also dedicated to "The die-hard fans of the original 1988 show." If the show had the same humor as this film, what die-hard fans? Hell, what fans, period? The film has also been known for the various lawsuits that stemmed from it. Offer sued the Farrelly brothers and 20th Century Fox for stealing 14 scenes from this film and incorporating them into There's Something About Mary (1998). The brothers claimed that they had not only didn't steal any scenes, but hadn't even heard of Vince Offer or The Underground Comedy Movie. The case was dismissed with prejudice. Offer did, however, successfully sue Anna Nicole Smith for $4 million for backing out of the film. He also attempted to sue the Church of Scientology, which he was a member of at one time, for launching a smear campaign against him.

In case you couldn't tell, I hated The Underground Comedy Movie with a passion. I watched this film with my friend and neither one of us laughed throughout the entire duration. All in all, The Underground Comedy Movie is a criminally unfunny, tasteless, piece of garbage film that no one should ever subject themselves to. It is very offensive to me because the film is an insult on my intelligence, sense of humor and is an insult on comedy itself. Mr. Offer, please stick to advertising infomercials, you can't do comedy... or direct a film. I rate this film ATROCIOUS on the scale.