This is NOT a Review

The title speaks for itself: this is a non-review. I'm here to say that I did it. I found the absolute worst movie that has ever been made in all of human history...and I will NOT review it. Why? Because I do not want any of you seeing it. No human being on this planet should be subjected to this movie. They probably show it on a loop at Gitmo. There are only two films that I do not talk about. This movie is so horrendously bad that it does not sit on one of my movie shelves. I have another film that is so disturbing that I don't talk about it, but at least it sits on my shelf. Where is this so-called bad movie, you may ask? All over my driveway. I hit it with a baseball bat, stomped on it, ran it over with my car, before burning it to hell and discarding it. I have never hated a movie so much that I destroyed it, until now. I only watched it once...and I was drunk. I hated it even though I was drunk, hated it so much it made me angry.

The worst part about this movie is that it's a pretty well known one. I used to see it on store shelves everywhere when I was a kid. The disturbing one is easier because it isn't so well known. Someone can still know about this movie and watch it. That's what scares me. I wasted five dollars on this. I hope and pray no one ever subjects themself to this. But I know that hope is in vain.